that president thing

Rutherford Birchard Hayes
Republican for real
Let me tell you a little bit about myself. Back in my day I was an American politician, a lawyer, a military leader and the 19th president of the United States. There were many presidents that served in the Civil War, but I was the only one to be wounded in battle. However time has passed and I am now super agile with lighting fast reflexes. My political career really started when I ran for Governor of Ohio, I terminated my opponents and served a 4 year term. Now in my presidential election I was the only president whose election was decided by a congressional vote, and also the first president to take the oath of office in the white house. My most controversial act as president was my reaction to the Great Railroad Strike of 1877. For the first time ever in US history military soldiers were ordered to fire on citizens killing more than 70. We were able to regain peace but at a horrible cost. I was not very involved in foreign policy but somehow I still managed to become a hero in Paraguay. The most memorable bill I signed was one that allowed female attorneys to argue in the Supreme Court.
Enough about my past, all that is really important is the future and how this country is going to be served and what the best wu tang song is. I am by far the most qualified person to lead this country. I have been know to frequently make it rain, but on a budget, saving the economy and leaving more money in tax payers’ pockets. I am with the majority of the people saying that we need to bring our troops home, we have been in Iraq just too long all because of one persons inability to keep it real. In the 186 years since my birth I have learned a lot, from mastering the art of keeping it real to how to be a great leader and be the voice for others. My voice will be that of the people, for the people. After all it is your country; you all make this country what it is. As president of the United States I will help get this country back on track to being the greatest country in the world.